Welcome to Hell!
As your tour guide today to our great Satanic Majesty’s diabolic underworld, may I suggest you pay close attention to the handy stereoscopic guide which was issued to you on your arrival. This is our most up-to-date edition which was published in 1875. Now I know some of you are already complaining it’s not on Kindle or Oculus Rift or whatever that new-fangled virtual reality shit you have up there. Well, this is Hell. Things aren’t meant to be easy here. In fact everything is meant to be a pain in the ass—though admittedly the music is pretty good down here. Anyway…
Stereoscopic images are very popular here as they once were back in the 1800s. It’s a simple way to see things in 3-D.
This infernal guide book was produced by two Frenchmen, François Benjamin Lamiche and Adolphe Block, sometime during the late 1860s and early 1870s. And as you can see from their exquisite handcrafted models—which always remind me of those skeletons Ray Harryhausen made for Jason and the Argonauts—Hell has plenty of interesting torments, punishments and the odd occasional pleasure…but not for you.
So, why not browse the brochure and get ready for some unrelenting torment, hm? Any questions? What? Oh, no, no, no. There are no rest rooms down here—you should surely know by now Hell is an eternity without relief.
Reprinted from Dangerous Minds.